Wave Goodbye interview

Trent Vanegas + Trent Reznor: The Wave Goodbye Interview from vim eo on Vimeo.

Last night...

I awoke last night to the sound of thunder...
Originally uploaded by fgfathome

Last night felt of familiar and felt of new.
Felt of peace and felt of power.
The awe, the depth.

The nearness and the infinite.
All was here.
With me.
With you.

Barcelona 7/13/09-7/23/09

View Our Spain Trip in a larger map


I'm going to start with this posting will evolve and grow as time continues, I have so much to report from one of the best experiences of my life.

I will start with this, I will never restrict

myself from self discovery, environmental awareness, and human interest. I'm also going to say this, I want to go back.

The map that I've created is a moving memoir of our trip. I've located the various point of interest, points of yum, and points of importance from our travels in Spain.

Nine Inch Nails Wave Goodbye Los Angeles 9/2/09-9/4/09

2009/09/02
Los Angeles, CA
Hollywood Palladium

Mr. Self Destruct
Piggy
Heresy
March Of The Pigs
Closer
Ruiner
The Becoming
I Do Not Want This
Big Man With A Gun
A Warm Place
Eraser
Reptile
The Downward Spiral
Hurt
1,000,000
Terrible Lie
Lights in the Sky
Burn
Gave Up
Suck
Metal (with Gary Numan)
CARS (with Gary Numan)
The Hand That Feeds
Head Like a Hole

Dreaming of future travels

this is my list, in no real order at this point....

Brazil
France
Thailand
Italy
Greece
Peru

Lights in the Sky

quite possibly my favorite....

NIN: "Lights In The Sky" live from on stage, Austin 5.12.09 [HD] from Nine Inch Nails on Vimeo.

Ode to my nin/ja experience

I sometimes have to remind myself that I'm no longer that 14 year old New Kids on the Block fanatic.....because I'm the 31 year old fanatic, minus the New Kids part...seriously, same kid, same passion for music, for bobbing my head, and being completely myself.

Well, so the week goes like this:
Monday, ventured to Las Vegas to see Nine Inch Nails and Jane's Addiction at the Palms. Stayed at the MGM....took a cab with the boys in front of me whom were also headed to the same mecca event so we went as a trio. Had a great vantage point, bout four people up from stage, slightly left of center. Ended up being great sight for Mr. Dave Navarro.....Was surrounded by great people, positive energy and lovers of music...my perfect world.....vegas was good to me =)

5/18/09 Las Vegas, NV
The Pearl, Palms Casino

Nine Inch Nails
Somewhat Damaged
Terrible Lie
Heresy
March Of The Pigs
The Frail
Piggy
Metal
The Big Come Down
Gave Up
The Fragile
I Do Not Want This
The Downward Spiral
Wish
Survivalism
The Day The World Went Away
Physical
The Hand That Feeds
Head Like A Hole
Hurt


Jane's Addiction
Three Days
Whores
Ain't No Right
Pigs In Zen
Then She Did...
Mountain Song
Had A Dad
Been Caught Stealing
Ted, Just Admit It...
Ocean Size
Encore:
Summertime Rolls
Stop!
Jane Says

Friday, I raced home from work to change and get in the car for round 2. I missed Street Sweeper Social Club, too bad, but again was blessed with great neighboors and an all around delightful experience.

5/22/09 Mountain View, CA
Shoreline Amphitheater

Nine Inch Nails
Home
1,000,000
Terrible Lie
Discipline
March Of The Pigs
Piggy
Metal
The Becoming
Burn
Gave Up
The Fragile
Underneath It All
Wish
Echoplex
Survivalism
The Day The World Went Away
The Hand That Feeds
Head Like A Hole
Hurt



Jane's Addiction
Three Days
Whores
Ain't No Right
Pigs In Zen
Then She Did...
Mountain Song
Had A Dad
Been Caught Stealing
Ted, Just Admit It...
Ocean Size
Summertime Rolls
Stop!
Jane Says



The opening songs for both bands for both shows really were the highlights for me. " Three Days" and "Then She Did", my top 2 fav JA songs. NIN's "Somewhat Damaged" and "Home", super powerful sexy songs, I was loving it all!

My journey

Unimaginable Journeys

By Tzvi Freeman

Each journey the soul travels takes her higher.

There are journeys that are painful, because there is struggle. Struggle to wrestle out of one place to reach another, struggle to discern the good from the bad and put each in place, struggle to face ugliness and replace it with beauty. But in each of these, a sense of purpose overwhelms the pain and brings its own joy.

Then there are journeys that seem to have no purpose. Where nothing appears to be accomplished, all seems futile. There is no medicine to wash away the pain.

But every journey the soul travels takes her higher. It is only that in some, the destination is a place so distant, so lofty, she could never have imagined. Until she arrives.

So trying times are had, they are challenged, stress is created and then all goes away....in a strange way, many times unexpected.

Challenging experiences are events that create strength. I can say that my daily endeavors and my larger roadblocks are the things that have really created my character. Be them humbling, be them fear-creating, be them inspiring, they have all made me stronger, wiser, wholesome, empowering.

Chu Chu Now

http://acme.com/chumaker/

Maynard's Birthday

dorky me, but today is Maynard James Keenan's birthday and today he released a wine in memory of his late mother.....Judith Marie......
the words and sound from Wings for Marie, off of the album 10,000 Days speaks so hauntingly and so beautifully...

You believed in movements none could see.
You believed in me
A passionate spirit. Uncompromised
Boundless and open. A light in your eyes
Then immobilized

Broken, broken
Fell at the hands of those movements I wouldn't see
Yet, it was you who prayed for me
So, what have I done to be a son to an angel
What have I done to be worthy

Daylight dims leaving cold fluorescents.
Difficult to see you in this light.
Please forgive this selfish question, but
What am I to say to all these ghouls tonight?
She never told a lie. Well might've told a lie,
But never lived one. Didn't have a life
But surely saved one.
See? I'm alright, now it's time for us to let you go.

Listen to the tales and romanticize,
How we'd follow the path of the hero
Boast about the day when the rivers overrun,
How we'll rise to the height of our halo.

Listen to the tales as we all rationalize
Our way into the arms of the savior
Feigning all the trials and the tribulations,
But None of us have actually been there,
Not like you...

Ignorant siblings in the congregation
Gather around spewing sympathy. Spare me...
None of them can even hold a candle up to you,
Blind by their own choice, these hypocrites won't see.

But enough about the collective Judas.
Who could deny you were the one who illuminated
your little piece of the divine
This little light of mine, a gift you passed onto me,
I'm gonna let it shine, to guide you safely on your way.
Your way home...

What are they gonna do when the lights go down
without you to guide them all to Zion?
What are they gonna do when the rivers overrun
other than tremble incessantly?

High is the way but all eyes are upon the ground.
You are the light and the way that They'll only read about
I only pray heaven knows when to lift you out.

10000 days in the fire is long enough.
You're going home...

You're the only one who can hold your head up high,
Shake your fist at the gates saying,
"I have come home now!

Fetch me the spirit, the son and the father,
Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended.
It's time now! My time now!
Give me my wings!"...

Set as I am in my ways and my arrogance
Burden of proof tossed upon the believers.
You were my witness, my eyes, my evidence,
Judith Marie, unconditional one.

Daylight dims leaving cold fluorescents.
Difficult to see you in this light.
Please forgive this bold suggestion, but
Should you see your maker's face tonight
Look him in the eye and tell him
"I never lived a lie, never took a life,
But surely saved one Hallelujah,
It's time for you to bring me home."

I have come to realize

Thanks Miss Sonia for the opportunity to look within myself this evening.....

Fill in the blank. "I have come to realize..." (write the first thing that comes into mind)

1. I have come to realize that my butt: Is at it's best, i love it.

2. I have come to realize that when I talk: The words sometimes come out way messed up, girl, slow DOWN!.

3. I have come to realize that, if I love someone: I will do anything for them.

4. I have come to realize that, I need: To move on.

5. I have come to realize that, I lost: Defeated, move on.

6. I have come to realize that, I hate it when: I talk when it's not my turn.

7. I have come to realize that, if I'm drunk: I am chatter box!

8. I have come to realize that, marriage: Is far, far away.

9. I have come to realize that, work: Is where I like to be.

10. I have come to realize that, I will always be: A silly little girl.

11. I have come to realize that, I like: Being independent.

12. I have come to realize that, the last time I cried was: When I couldn't handle it.

13. I have come to realize that, my cell phone: Is a distraction.

14. I have come to realize that, when I wake up in the morning: Sleeping is over

16. I have come to realize that, right now I am thinking about: Stopping munching already!

17. I have come to realize that, babies: Are far, far, far away.

18. I have come to realize that, when I get on Facebook: I'm not as curious.

19. I have come to realize that, today I will: Need to do what I need to do.

20. I have come to realize that, tonight I will: Be introspective.

21. I have come to realize that, tomorrow I will: Be closer to news of many.

22. I have come to realize that, I really want to: Be immersed with passion-driven people.

23. I have come to realize that, working out: Drives my existence.

24. I have come to realize that, friends: Numbers mean NOTHING!

Presidio 10K 30-34 year old female group..5th Place!

Bib
347
Age
31
Sex
F
Chip Time
48:37
Clock Time
49:09
Overall
119
Sex Place
22
Division Place
5
Age Grade
62.5%

1269 Finishers - 513 M / 756 F

182 females 30-34 years old

Love Maynard!

Goodbye to this feeling......

Thanks to Queens of the Stone Age, that once feeling, lifted and no longer goodbyeing.......

"Long Slow Goodbye"

Where have you gone again my sweet?
Everybody wants to know
Where have you gone again my sweet?
Everybody wants to know
Where you gone?

I'm just a ghost, i'm on your street
Waitin', when you comin' home?
Gone so long
Where you gone?
On a long slow goodbye?
On a long slow goodbye...

In every voice, i hear you speak
Waitin' by the telephone
I close my eyes, i just can't sleep
Roll & tumble all night long
All night long
Where you gone?

I close my eyes, i just can't sleep
Where have you gone again my sweet?

On a long slow goodbye?
On a long slow goodbye...

Goodbye

........I am totally helloing

Tool Summer tour confirmed!!!!

AHHHHHH!!!!!

Straight from toolband.com news that has me glowing.....

I wasn't sure that my live music calender could get any better.

Dates to still come as well as a new album sometime then after

So fantastic!

SFO to LAX and back again 3/19/09-3/21/09

A super trip with a super fabulous woman, and what a way to call it a day =)
We began with intent to shop our way out of lecture overflow, and boy did we ever! Sandy and I learned lots about diabetic feet, the importance of vascularization and how that actually is most of the time the "make it or break it" part of a complete assessment.

Thursday night, after the group dinner, we ventured to Lucky Strikes Bowling Alley for the group activity. It was fun, I bowled a 60! Way to go Er!
Sandy and I took some silly pictures in the photo booth, so classic..
Friday started with a little AM workout at our hotel gym. We were goos and went to lectures all day..until 3pm. Then it was off for shopping! Bought some Guess distressed black jeans, almost look leathery. Did major lululemon damage, and Sandy's first trip there! We dined at SimonLA, had a wonderful meal with ahi starter, rocket and fennel salad, steamed halibut, and to finish a big bowl of freshly spun cotton candy.

Saturday started like Friday, I got up early and attended a workshop as Sandy packed all of her stuff. We left about 11ish for brunch at the Newsroom, did a little Robertson shopping and headed for Sprinkles in Beverly Hills.....mmm

Next stop, LAX........we did the whole rental car return, and got on the shuttle, got to the airport, got through securty, got to out gate, then I got the shock of a lifetime! "Josh?" It was crazy! What a sight to see, a very nice sight indeed. All I can say is, dude, life happens and we move on with it...then sometimes life happens, life merges, interests intersect and you get a chance to say hello again. Now I will end with, you never know..............

An important lession learned...

Sometimes the best lessons Ive learned thus far have been from the people the least close to me. It's odd how relationships unfold in various parts of what makes us whole.
Today I was wisely redirected in my thoughts, by a dear dear man.
Many of his comments come from within, his years of what I presume self hate, perceived hate and assumed hate.
To me, off the bat, I was challenged by him when we first met, and today we've grown comfortable in each others beings, I'm ever grateful for his presence in my life.

"All you need in life you have inside you"

That's it.
That's really all that counts.
Seriously, the person I am, is who I am, the stuff around me...is just stuff....but then I continued to think of my needs and recognized.....

"All I Need"
I’m the next act
Waiting in the wings
I’m an animal
Trapped in your hot car
I am holidays that you choose to ignore

You are all I need
You’re all I need
I’m in the middle of your picture
Lying in the reeds

I am a moth
Who justs wants to share your light
I’m just an insect
Trying to get out of the night
I wanna stick with you, because there are no others

You are all I need
You’re all I need
I’m in the middle of your picture
Lying in the breeze

It’s all wrong
It’s all right
It’s all wrong
It’s all right
It’s all wrong
It’s all right
It’s all wrong
It’s all right
It’s all wrong
It’s all right

-Radiohead

OK, now I'm really going to SCREAM!!!

So far my spring/summer concert calendar is as follows:

4/4/09 Los Angeles, Ca PUSCIFER
4/22/09 San Jose, Ca BRITNEY SPEARS
5/18/09 Las Vegas, NV NINE INCH NAILS AND JANE'S ADDICTION
5/22/09 Mountain View, Ca NINE INCH NAILS AND JANE'S ADDICTION
the Britney is quite random, but an essential event in one's life..to see BRITNEY live, yes!

Top albums that CHANGED my existance

Tool Ænima
Nine Inch Nails The Fragile
Tears for Fears Songs from the Big Chair
Beastie Boys Paul's Boutique
Bob Marley Legend
Queens of the Stone Age Queens of the Stone Age
Chemical Brothers Dig your own Hole
Beck Odelay
Pearl Jam Vs.
Trainspotting soundtrack
Smashing Pumpkins Siamese Dreams
Red Hot Chili Peppers Blood Sugar Sex Magik
Rage Against the Machine The Battle of Los Angeles
Jane's Addiction Ritual De Lo Habitual
Radiohead Kid A
Sublime 40 oz. to Freedom
Dinosaur Jr Where You Been

What is Puscifer?

The Sunday show started with Uncle Scratch's Gospel Revival who hollowed the name of the lord, megaphone voice and all...what a riot, bible thumping rocksters! “Give Me Back My Bible”

As their set ended the remaking of the stage began for the ultimate delicacy, Mr. Maynard and his crew. The Airstream trailer was unveiled and there were two drum kits, a campfire setting in the middle which was soon occupied by Uncle Scratch guys. There were 2 mics set up with screens that covered the mics, and well, there were cameras that gave live footabge of their usage on screen. Super cool effect with the almost fishbowl appearing images of Maynard and Juliette, whom occupied the mics during the evening.

A video feed started on the main video-screen showing Maynard inside of the trailer on his cell phone calling all of the Puscifer peeps reminding them about the third show; Tim Alexander in RN drag came out from under maynards legs (opps) We get a head shot of Maynard as he popped out of the trailer and then he was like, "what the fuck are all of these people doing outside of my trailer?” (on his phone). Looking rather paranoid.

A Major Douche video played warning not to use cameras or recording devices of any kind. It was super cool, during my scan, there was nil flashes or silly people with their arms in the air looking at the concert through their silly cameras, major props Keenan!

Maynard started out in jeans and a t-shirt and then changed into a black suit with red shirt, red tie and red socks. HUBBA HUBBA!!! He was all in his "Toolish" slither moves in the suit getup, I was goosebumping! Tim Alexander: DRUNK! Oh, and got spank raped by the singer from Uncle Scratch in the trailer. Lots of action. There was the chef from Simon serving up apps in the trailer as well as major Wine action among all parties there.

The videos were trippy! They featured talking dolls, talking vaginas, talking assholes, a cult and Bob, oh and infomercial segments with Mr. Show peeps. We had a wedding with the presiding Rev. Maynard Juliette and some dude. I was bummed there was no Milla.
The renditions of the track were all very unique compared to recorded songs on "V" is for Viagra and "V" is for Vagina.
Band for 2/15/09:
Maynard
Juliette
Jonny Polonski
Gil Sharone
Rani Sharone
Tim Alexander

quoted from Spin.com:

And Keenan himself was in fine voice, whether in affected baritone or the evocative tenor he often employs in his two other bands, Tool and A Perfect Circle. In fact, this was a rare opportunity to see the multi-faceted artist exhibit his every creative impulse at once. It might not have made total sense, but then again, harmony is the last thing you'd expect from Maynard James Keenan.

Setlist:
(Video segment #1)
(Skit)
"Sour Grapes"
"Rev 22:20"
"DoZo"
(Video segment #2)
"Drunk With Power"
"The Undertaker"
"Vagina Mine"
"Momma Sed"
(Video segment #3)
"Polar Bear"
"Trekka"
"Indigo Children"
"The Mission"
"Queen Bee"

Valentine's Day...aka love MYSELF day

So hey, today is Valentine's Day, and like most regular days I'm reflective on the fact that I'm in a serious relationship with myself, one that I would not augment in any way at all, but also reflective on the fact that everyone else is in a relationship with someone else. Yes, a generalization, but alas, a majority of those around me are. In one of my inward journeys today I thought, hey have I ever really had a valentine? I mean someone that I and he were totally twitterpated for? These days, i find myself twittering, but there's no pating going on. I can genuinely say that yes, I've had one TRUE valentine, (anything younger than college doesn't count) but really that's all. I was hyper-observant today of friends and lovers, and again thought, "have I ever had that?" Really, I honestly don't think so......it's funny, to actualize my past, what's it all been? Have I ever been in love? Seriously, have I? Blind, yes. In love? I really don't know. Now that those emotions have past, I now am slightly more focused on seeking something grand, encompassing, enlightening, and joyful. In a hurry? No way....but at the same time would be elated to find someone that made my heart race faster, my cheeks rosier, my life fuller. Have our live crossed? Is he right in front of me? Will I meet him tomorrow? Did I meet him in a previous life? Clueless....
I'm just going to continue my doings, not alter my destiny, and keep my eyes on the road.
I saw Slumdog Millionaire today. What a fantastic movie! It surely was written, as all is, and that is what I believe....
I am a very lucky girl to have many people who care in my life..to name and thank and adore a few on this day today: Mom and Dad, Sonia, Leighanne, Alli, Michael, Megan...thank you for your vday love.....
Tomorrow, Vegas bound, PUSCIFER BABY!!!!

"Beside You in Time"

I am all alone this time around
Sometimes on the side I hear a sound
Places parallel I know it's you
Feel the little pieces bleeding through
[Chorus:]
And on (And on)
This goes on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
This goes on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on
Now that I've decided not to stay
I can feel me start to fade away
Everything is back where it belongs
I will be beside you before long
[Chorus]
[x2]
Oooh we will never die
Oooh Beside you in time

Nine Inch Nails

Finding Perfection

Quoting Tzvi Freeman:

(The Rebbe's response to a girl who wanted to leave her school for what she thought to be a better one:)

You have to begin with the knowledge that there is nothing perfect in this world. Our job is not to hunt down perfection and live within it. It is to take whatever broken pieces we have found and sew them together as best we can.

Gym etiquette

Some great tips from MSNBC.com, and my own 2 cents....

— Smell nice, but not too nice. Wash your workout clothes every time, and wear deodorant. Avoid heavy perfume and cologne.
Yes, please please please do not come in the gym at 5:30 in the morning smelling like you are goin clubbing, it's suffocating and I have difficulty running.

— Don’t hog the equipment. Follow time limits on the cardio machines, and allow others to work in on the weight machines between your sets.
Yes, especially the walkway, trainers...you do not own the gym, we all need to share..stop running your peeps down the thoroughfare..we can't get by!

— Get to class on time. If you’re late, enter quietly and take a spot at the back of class.
This is for your own benefit....max it out!

— Practice weight control. Don’t drop the weights. When you’re done, put them away.
People are not your maids.

— Keep it quiet. No blasting your music, singing, grunting, screaming or talking loudly on your cell phone.
Guys, no sexy moans please, it's not a turn on at alllll!

— Don’t ogle. It’s rude, and not everyone is looking to make a love connection at the gym.
Yes, you are together, and no, I'm not interested....

— Clean up after yourself. In a perfect world, you would wipe off anything you touch with sanitizer. At the very least, clean up that swamp you left on the exercise bike.
I deal with enough bodily fluids at work thank you!

— Don’t be a diva. You don’t own any particular spot in class. So be flexible, follow instructions and respect those around you.
Nor do you own a particular machine.....

oh, and I love this quote:

oftentimes, the way people behave at the gym is similar to their behavior outside of the gym, says Gottsman.  So the person who's rude at the gym is likely to be the one of the people cutting in line at the coffee shop or screaming at a kid's soccer coach.

The Things I am learning from working in ortho...

1. No paragliding, hang gliding, skydiving.
2. No crossing in front of cars.
3. No mixing of meth and jumping 20 feet to the ground, you will most likely fracture both heels and a bunch of other things.
4. No bike riding.
5. No motorcycling riding.
6. No riding of any kind.
7. Remember where you are when you wake up, you might not be in your own bed.
8. If you are drunk and locked out of your home, don't climb up the fire escape to break in.
9. Falling from standing is more common than previously thought.
10. Pay all your tickets.
11. Check your feet, check your feet, check your feet.

25 Random things about me......

1. I have 4 different toothpastes to rotate as I hate the same flavor everyday.
2. I actually loved having braces.
3. All of my baby teeth were saved and my mom made a Lucite rattle with them, minus one tooth that was accidentally swallowed and attempts were made by mom to recover....never found.
4. At a very early age I decided I wanted to be a dental hygienist, proof recovered from a "What I want to be when I grow up" drawing circa 1984 I drew me with my hand down someone's mouth who was lying in a chair.
5. I used to bite my nails pretty bad....I still kinda play with the cuticles.
6. I am orally fixated (see 1-5 for verification).
7. I was in a couple fashion shows as a kid, one of which was a Nordstrom thing and we had to stand and pose while folks passed by.
8. I own the complete Nine Inch Nails "Halo" collection, minus 1 DVD, which I'm working on acquiring. That'd be 27 items in total.
9. My dream man has the wit of Andy Samberg, the body and creativity of Trent Reznor, the kindness of my father, the moves of Michael Jackson, the athleticism of Michael Phelps, and the brains of Steven Hawkings....
10. I know all the West Side Story songs by heart.
11. My initials are EVE because my great grandmother's name was Eva. V for Vale St. near Stern Grove. If I were a boy, my mom would have named me Evan.
12. My first rock band tape was Tears for Fear, Songs from the Big Chair.
13. If I could go back in time and do anything, that would be to go back to 1968 and see The Doors live.
14. I'm really bad at subtracting.
15. I'm really good at analytical reasoning.
16. I played Lady and the Tramp with my little cousins growing up, I was called a bulldog in elementary school, I was nicknamed Snoopy in high school, I have yet to be referred to as a dog since, except bitch.
17. I'm a picker, poker, puller, pile maker.
18. I'm obsessed with trail mix and dry cereal.
19. I'm afraid of being in the ocean and not being able to swim.
20. Janet and I weren't suppose to drive on Doyle Dr. when we were in high school moms both said, "too dangerous".
21. I love EVERYTHING about my job.
22. I have super hero hearing powers.
23. The only time I've ever hit another car while driving was right before I was going for my drivers license exam.
24. I'm a fan of cold soft crispy sheets.
25. I'm stubborn...like daddy...I'm "blah blah blah"...like mommy.

The Calmest day full of Connection

Today was quite the day....
I'm happy to share my own personal year of reinvention with that of the nation and world. The hurry and excitement was about, goosebumps flourished and I actually said, "yes, I grew wings and flew away".....

Daily Dose from Chabad:

Investing in Earth
The soul descends to an earthly realm and a material body because she sees what can be achieved there -- heights she could never attain by remaining in the realm of the spirit.

That is why we take care of ourselves, our families, our fellow human beings and our lovely planet earth. Not out of fear or dread or panic. But out of knowledge that within each of those things is a beauty the highest of angels cannot touch.

Tzvi Freeman

I heart Nine Inch Nails

Now I can go to bed with Trent every night......

Nine Inch Nails Still Love Their Fans

Adulthood......a friendly reminder

Three things you must know to be an adult:

Don't fool yourself.

Don't fool others.

Don't let others fool you.

-- and do it all without trying to impress anybody.

(The 5th Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Shalom DovBer, told this to his son before his bar mitzvah.)

see, three playful adult women